Laundromats

Yesterday did was my dad decided to the wash some sheets.  And he did go across the streets and to the Laundromat.  And when he did return to the washers machine, he did take out the wets sheets to put them into the dryings machine and he did see that at the bottoms of the washers machine there was the three turds.  And yes they the were Chesturds.  And the dad did the realize that at the some point in the week past I did had made those the turds in the bed under the sheets, probably down at the bottoms of the bed so that no one did had to noticed.  And Dad did to say to the mom Chester is DONE to sleep in the bed.  And the last night when I did was trying to jump to up on the bed, Dad did was say NO.  And Mom did the say NO, Chester.  And even did the Stella say Forgets it poop-faces!  So I did have to forgets it.  I guess that is what does the happen when you do to make the tootsie rolls in the bed.

Surprises in the to Morning

Mom has been mad at the me and it does to make me the sad.  What is to happening is to that in the morning of the days Mom does let me and my favorite sister Stella out of the bedrooms and then we do go runnings down the hall and while to that does to happen Stella does chew on the my neck and it is good.  When we do come to out to the bedrooms I do know that soon we are to the go out.  And some of the times my body is does start to prepare for to go out.  And I do poop. 

And usually when the poop does come is when mom to is tying her shoes to the go out. 

Today it did to start to happen and mom did say "DON'T YOU DARE" in not a very good friendly voice.  And she did grab me on my neck and out did come the poop right at the door.  And mom did drag me outside by the my neck and then the poop did happen on the doormat.  And then I had to sit on the porch while did mom finish tying her the shoes and also when she did get a sweatshirt.  When she did to come outside I did smile and wag the my tail but she did was not as happy to the see me.  And I think I did maybe to hear a bad word that sound to something like "WHAT THE (BAD WORD) IS WRONG WITH YOU, (BAD WORD)." 

And I did not like to the start to the morning like in that way.  Why can not it just be a surprise that is in a good way, like "Oh my butt did to open early!  Let us go and to walk and eat some chicken bones if to I can get in it when mom isn't the looking."